I just wish I could stop crying.
I always make everything worse. Anytime he’s depressed I always say the wrong thing without even meaning to and I make everything worse than it already was. Lately I’ve just been feeling like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I’m so close to 100 days, but tonight has been so triggering. Sometimes I wish I could just do it without having the marks for proof. I don’t want to go back to my old ways. But, in a way, I miss it. Self-Harm is a fucking addiction and sometimes, I think that I’m not ready to break it. I want to feel okay. I don’t want to come home and go to bed at 2:30pm because I can’t take anything more that day. I’m having really bad withdraws, and they’re killing me. Nothing helps. I’m not okay, but of course, you wouldn’t know that.